This week I SANG my weekly ezine.
Yup … I sang my News to the Blues
And if you but I do swear sometimes in emails with close friends:
Inspiration Whacks Me in an Email
Great — coffee on the 27th — I forgot our usual bat-time?
Yeah, I’m having a lot of disconnect about WHAT the f** I’m selling. Something’s stuck. I mean in my energy/head. There’s definitely weirdness from being a performer and sooooo much concentration on: if you’re really GOOD you’ll be SUCCESSFUL and if you’re not SUCCESSFUL there’s something SHAMEFUL you are or are not doing … or god forbid you’re not as GOOD as you think you are and everyone else knows it and is shaking their heads behind your back … not in a mean way … oh no of course not (she said sarcastically) but just in a tsk tsk way because isn’t it so sad that you’re not as good as you used to be or whatever the f**ing thing people are saying in my head – meaning … the things I HEARD people say about other artists which I now attack myself with … aaaaaagh
Actually … now that I write this I realize that both the launch and my ezine are there to help me make some connection about this because for god sakes ANYTHING can be fun!
Who’s the person who wrote the song “Nothing Can Be Something if You Do it with a Melody” (Me!!!!!) … [and this, gentle readers, is the moment inspiration whacked me] oh sh*t … oh sh*t oh sh*t … every one of my inner committee is jumping up and down as sooooon as they heard me write that and saying SING YOUR FRIGGIN’ EZINE!!!!! SING YOUR EZINE!!! DOOOOOO IT DO-DO-DOOOBIE DOOOO IT!.
that committeee….. jaaaaayyyzzzus!!!
OMG. Does this mean I have to sing my ezine?
So what’s THAT all About??
The point is … how hard it is to just do what I actually do. You may like what I did or not like it – but the fact is it’s really me – I’m really like that – that’s actually how I am every day when nobody else is looking.
The fear of showing this ‘backside’ of myself is so ingrained that it never occurred to me that it was even a thing to do — it was like a non-thing in my head because it’s the most natural thing I could possibly do.
The other point is that it took work with a lot of coaches just to get to the point of ‘getting’ that this is me … and that something as simple as my weekly ezine – can be a vehicle for actually just being myself.
So, many thanks to Jeanna Gabellini who coaches me to have fun with everything in my business, to Christine Kane who coached me to send ezines every week, to Michael Katz, my very first email newsletter coach who got me started sending ezines in the first place (and I promise if you sign up for his enewsletter program he won’t make you sing your ezine).
And many, many thanks to the students in my online courses, who hear me preach Imperfect Completion every day … and show me the way to find it in myself.
And … oh yeah … I almost forgot. Here’s where you sign up for my ezine.