Big Baby DHC #1

A few days ago I started writing the book I need to read, and I started with something I tell myself and my students all the time: Create Conducive Conditions.

Meaning, instead of trying to ‘cope’ with a messy desk or a practice space that’s uncomfortable, actually spend time creating the physical, mental and spiritual conditions that will help you actually do what you’re trying to do.

But yesterday I asked myself “Hey, what does that actually mean: create conducive conditions?” and here’s what I wrote back:

I’ll tell you what it means. It means accepting that you’re a Big Baby who needs everything Just So in order to get anything done.

Did I say it means “accepting” – I meant it means LOVING the fact, ADMIRING the fact.

It means you believe that Big Baby’s every little thought is so valuable that you’ll set up a whole machine to make sure BigBaby has what she needs to be comfortable.

It means you’re BigBaby’s personal secretary — and trust me, BigBaby won’t do a blessed thing to help you.  She writes like a slob. Nobody – not even you – can decipher her handwriting.  The minute she starts to scribble something on a post-it you have to swoop in and say, “Woah, BigBaby, let me do that for you.”  And then YOU have put it in a place where everyone can find it afterwards. BigBaby won’t remember where it is – trust me.  She has the memory of a sieve.

Trust me, BigBaby won't do a thing to help you Click To Tweet

BigBaby won’t put her things away. She won’t look at her calendar. She won’t get things done on time.  She will eat potato chips – and only potato chips – for every meal. She won’t set the alarm clock, she won’t floss her teeth, she won’t go in for mamograms or colonoscopies.

She’s a big baby.  And you have to do everything for her.

Does that feel horrible? Do you resent that?

If so, that’s why you’re not getting the support you need from yourself.  You’re a big baby.  Get over it.  And start taking care of Big Baby’s every need.


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